Dec 2011 – 15 Thu
So this process started officially on July 14, 2006. The log-in date in China. Flash forward five years, five months and today is December 15th, 2011. The trip has begun.
I could fill another journal with the preparation tasks for this trip – so let’s just start with today. A very wet, rainy and windy morning in Buffalo – but very mild – low 50s – when we left for the airport. Sue, bright eyed and awake, had just returned from Ethiopia the night before and she volunteered to pick us up at 4:30am – because her time clock said it was lunch time. Our first flight was to depart at 6am – we boarded, headed down the tarmac, turned onto the runway – and as we flew down the runway the pilot abruptly shut down and aborted the take-off. Back to the terminal – where enroute the pilot said they had “a cantankerous little box with a faulty light” that needed to be addressed. (Olivia – your mom has been driving around Buffalo with a ‘cantankerous’ brake light that has been on for three months… luckily she hasn’t had to abort any take-offs down Starin Avenue.
We’re now in Dulles (Washington, DC) and killing about three hours till we board. Your mom was sleeping – but now on the cell with Aunt Eileen. Just overcast here – 50s… although Bejing is supposed to be chilly – 30s dropping to teens. More adventures to come.
We really lucked out in Dulles. During the standard visa check – the United agent rebooked us in Business First (hot towels, menus, nice merlots..) and this was due to an aircraft change. It’s only a short thirteen hour flight from Dulles to Bejing. (FYI – your mom ordered the salmon…) It would have been salmon flavored peanuts in Economy. The seats recline, unlimited movies – and it’s as comfortable as the couch.. so with the exception of two goldendoodles at her feet, your mom is very happy.
We’re somewhere over the North Pole. It’s about 7:37 am your time and you’re probably sleeping. The airplane cabin is dark and most people are sleeping. I can’t sleep so I thought I would write… Here’s some of what we know about you and your story… you were born on November 16, 2010. You weighed about 6 pounds _ ounces and you measured 19 inches. You were given the name Qiu (which means hibiscus or pretty girl), Rong (which means Autumn) and Feng (which is the city in which you were born). Right now, you’re at the Fengcheng Social Welfare Institute where you’ve been for last 4 to 6 weeks. You spent your first year with a foster family in or near the city of Fengcheng. We got your picture via email on August 30, 2011 – the best email that I have ever received and the best day of my life. Since then, we’ve been waiting for approvals from both the US and Chinese governments to pick you up and bring you home. This approval finally came in November and it has been a whirlwind of activity getting everything ready. So, in just two short days—December 18th at 3:30 pm—we will meet you for the first time!! Your dad feels exclamation points are overused but it seems perfectly fitting for the way I feel right now.
We arrived right on schedule – and spent about an hour waiting in customs. At the airport, we met Grace, our host from Great Wall, and two other parents, John and Jennifer from Dallas, Texas. After getting our bags we loaded up and headed to the hotel, the Poly Theatre Hotel in Beijing. After a long flight we were exhausted and because of the time difference found ourselves waking up all night…at 4:30am I ventured out into the darkened streets of Beijing in search of our morning coffee – and got my first lesson on Chinese culture at McDonalds. There is no such thing a personal space. Some young kid barged right in from of me in line while I was waiting with the customary, western tradition of one ‘people’ space between ‘humans’....Deciding he was wrong, and a young kid – I didn’t worry about creating an international incident as I stepped in front of him and halved the personal space to zero. Don’t get in front of me – or my first cup of coffee… back to the hotel with our coffee (16 yuan for two – so less than $3) and finally at 5am, decided to get the day started.
Dec 2011- 17 Sat
So at 8:30am this morning, we met the other families in the lobby of the hotel and headed out for a day of sightseeing. Rising at 5am, we saw the sun slowly rise over Beijing – or least creep in between the high rise buildings. I made a 5am run to McDonalds for the first coffee of the day.
Our group for the tour consisted on three families from Texas – Dallas, San Antonio, and Corpus Christie, one family from Tennessee, another from Flint, Michigan and your mom and I. (Tomorrow everyone heads to their provinces for ‘gotcha day’) and then we all meet again in Guangzhou in a week.
The sun was brilliant – but the temps cold – a balmy 30° when we got to Tian An Men Square… it was huge. Grace said that during national events, millions of people crowd the square – Beijing has population of over 20million citizens. Across from the Square, we entered the Forbidden City – a national landmark that dates back to the Ming Dynasty over 6 centuries ago… it was a walled city originally built for the emperor, empress and the emperors concubines… who numbered in the thousands, as Grace described it. Of course, during the day we got to know Grace – and she likes to talk.. for example, she’s 28 years old, her mother wants her to get a boyfriend, and her younger brother just got married and blah, blah, blah… did I mention it was really cold outside? We walked the Forbidden City from one end to the other and met our driver after a two hour tour. Your mom paid particular interest to the stories of the ‘Dragon Lady’ who for many years ruled China from behind the yellow screen as she directed first her son and then nephew with decisions that affected the empire… I think your mom wishes she had a yellow screen too. (But, then she already rules our empire…)
After the Forbidden City we headed out of town to a jade factory where, first we had lunch with all of our group – then toured the factory and their extensive – and really expensive jade gift shop. (FYI – you, your mom and Natalie are all Year of the Tiger). Chloe is the Year of the Rabbit – I’m an Ox.
The day concluded with visit to the Great Wall. It was about 3pm by the time we finally got there. Many of our group decided to hang out at the base and a few decided to make the trek to the top. Your mom made it to two towers – a considerable feat – one dad and two young kids got all the way to the top – I got about half way to the first tower and stopped to call the gym and renew my membership.. I was huffing and puffing and really out of shape. The wall is a huge climb and many of the steps are worn and not consistently placed, so you really have to pay attention when you’re climbing.. The view from half way up was beautiful – so the summit must have been unbelievable. The group finally got reassembled by 4:45 and it was time to head back to the hotel. Everyone was really exhausted from the day and ready to crash early because tomorrow was ’ gotcha day – and we needed to be ready to leave for the airport at 5am.
Dec 2011 – 18 Sun
The group assembled this morning at 5:30am for the ride to Beijing International Airport… another chilly, but sunny day in Beijing.. we boarded our bus – with breakfast in hand (some type of sandwich, salad, a banana, and egg)..
Everyone was excited and you could sense a little anxiousness in all the families. At the airport, we split up – some families heading north, some south, and Grace was there to orchestrate and communicate with the Flight Check-In people at China Eastern.
We’re now aboard our flight to Nanchang… about 2 hours of flight time – I really lucked out this time (note: I like to introduce sarcasm on occasion…) my luck was seat 45B – middle… ugh. I hate middle seats.
1:26 PM
We landed at Nanchang and were greeted by our next guide from Great Wall, Veronica. After a 40 minute ride, we arrived at the Jin Feng Hotel. We met a few other families who chose to fly directly here – and not through Beijing. We meet you for the first time in a large conference room on the second floor. Veronica said you would be scared and nervous and you might not eat – it’s a big day for you.. she said you went directly from your foster home to the orphanage and then to our hotel.
4:25 PM
Olivia was late for her own party today. We arrived in a second floor conference room with 3 other families at 3:30 pm. Two of the four children arrived early but the program could not begin until Stella and Olivia arrive from Fengcheng City. The two girls arrived around 4:30 pm and were fashionably decked out in matching Christmas-red snow coats, pants, and white-trimmed hats. I showed my passport to the Orphan Director and he handed you to me. Unbelievable. You seemed a little shocked, scared and confused. You didn’t cry but I did. I was so happy so it wasn’t sad tear but joyful tears. During the meeting, you shed one lone and silent tear that rolled down you rosy red cheeks. The orphanage director said that Fengcheng is a very windy city.
We were allowed to return to the hotel room but I had to return alone to sign documents at 5 pm. You stayed up in the room with your Dad … and that is the moment you became a Daddy’s girl and as of this writing I have only been able to hold you maybe 10 times. You have bonded with your dad.
Dec 2011-19 Mon
Today I officially or legally adopted you. I was interviewed by the Chinese Center for Child Welfare, had to get some documents notarized and at the Nangchang Police Station. It was a full day of paperwork. It started at 9 am which isn’t really early but you didn’t sleep that much the night before. At around 2 am you woke and decided it was time to play for two hours. You laughed and went back and forth between us. It was a lot fun. You slept with us in our bed. We hardly slept but we actually had a few moments which gave me hope that today would be better than yesterday. At least for now you prefer your Dad…and it’s ok. I am a little hurt but I think “we” will happen.
In the evening we all assembled in the lobby and went for a traditional Chinese dinner at a restaurant close by. The food was served family style and placed on a big spinning lazy susan.. Everything was very good – but we were exhausted and anxious to get back and relax for the evening.. You ate a lot – but tearing up the napkins and playing with the chop sticks was really amusing you.
Dec 2011 – 20 Tue
Olivia , you are Han. Most (or 90 percent per Veronica our guide) 1.3 billion people in China are Han as well. Your ancestors were from the Han Dynasty. The other 10 percent are from 55 different minority groups. Most of these minority groups live in southwest China in the mountains. Your first country, China, is home to 1/5 of the world’s population. Eighty five percent of the land in China is mountainous or arid desert. Tibet and Mongolia make up 45 percent of the Chinese map but only have 1 percent of the population.
Before 1970, there was no birth control policy. In fact, Chairman Mao encourage families to have children. During this time the average family was between 5 and 6 kids. Then there was 3 year long disaster when the winters were cold and the summers were hot and dry. In 1970, a three pronged family control policy was established. The first part of this family control policy included late marriages. The legal age for men was 23 for men and 21 for females. Prior to this most people married at 15 or 16 years and these marriage would be arranged.
I think your mom will add more ‘facts’ at some point – but she was taking diligent notes from our tour guide as we headed to this little village about 40 minutes from Nanchang. Today we got real taste of how the other half – and probably more like the other two thirds lived. We ventured to this village – and by US standards you would think this town was dirt poor. Our guide, Veronica, said this village was actually in good shape. There were multiple floor dwellings, some had running water, and a recycling program, but to look around – no landscaping, dirt in the streets, loose chickens, dogs and oxen…. not exactly Transit Road in East Amherst… but, despite what we saw, the villagers seemed genuinely happy – content with their meager possessions, and very interested in a small group of westerners with light complexion, ‘fancy’ clothes – holding their little chinese girls. Your mom was the official photographer of the day and got some great shots of the village – of you – and the locals. You were eyeing all the little boys in town – and not surprisingly – they were checking you out, too.
After the village, the next stop was shopping for the babies – and where else, but Walmart. But this was Walmart, China style… the greeters for example were in their early 20’s… in the states that gig is reserved for the revered senior citizens. We bought a new red sun stroller, a silk(ish) outfit, a few groceries, and other essentials. 636 yuan later (about $100) we met the group outside Walmart at, ready for this, KFC. I think the Chinese really love our consumeristic society. KFC’s, McDonalds, if only Tim Horton’s could join the game!! So I digress. In this KFC, you tried your very first french fry… and yes, loved it. Who doesn’t?
Back on the bus and back to the hotel. Now all day, I was starting to feel really tired, achy and by the time we got back – full blown head cold. Runny nose, scratchy throat, achy… I think you gave me your cold. So your mom went with our guide and got me some cold medicine. They came back with some herbal tea that tasted like warmed cow dung. (When you’re older I will give you a better and more colorful description.) I think it helped, although it was tough to consume. You slept better last night – the 2am play session was much shorter…
Dec 2011 – 21 Wed
It’s Wednesday. Another gray and cool day in Nanchang. All the paperwork and adoption stuff is nearly done – so today is another day of sightseeing.
Today’s adventure is to an old temple located on the banks of the—————River. According to Veronica, our guide, this historic landmark was once a fort and served as a lookout to see approaching enemies coming up or down the river. Over time it had burned and was rebuilt 29 times. On each floor we saw large murals or reliefs that told stories of ancient Chinese heroes. On one of the upper floors we watched a short musical show of Chinese folk songs – and from the upper floors you could walk out onto a deck that wrapped the building – providing beautiful views of the river and city… But unfortunately the fog and smog prevented views beyond a few hundred yards. It was really cold and windy on the deck.
Following a tour of this temple, we had lunch in another traditional Chinese family setting. You really liked the scrambled egg soup.. And the chicken, and the rice, and… You’re a really good eater.
Back on the bus and back to the hotel. We had sent laundry out the night before and the it was returned that evening at five. Most of the families hung out together in the common space on our floor later that evening – but after a long day we were ready to just hang in our own room – with a pizza that Veronica ordered.
Dec 2011
22 Thu
5:00 PM
We are here in Nanchang with three other families. And one of the families, the Burkhardt’s had previously adopted two girls from China. So today we ventured again into the countryside in search of Abby’s hometown. We left Nanchang in our bus – babies, strollers, winter coats, and bottles and headed west. Or at least I think it was west – I’ve lost all sense of direction. The city quickly turned to rolling hills and the diesel, manual transmission bus chugged up and down a few hills. After a while, the driver and Veronica seemed bit lost – and Jeff, the dad, wasn’t quite sure exactly ‘where’ this little village was. At some point, we pulled off a two lane road into a little mountain side village of wood and concrete structures… Veronica claimed “we are here” – and Jeff, not really sure said “close enough.” I doubt Abby even remembered.
Veronica, our guide, met a local woman and told her that we westerners wanted to experience what life in a little village was like in comparison to the big city (Nanchang). Much like the previous village, this was remote, had multiple floor dwellings and outhouses – but this village was carved from the side of a hill – each house moving up the hill had progressively better views of the valley. The villagers welcomed us into their homes – and showed us their living quarters, kitchens, water supplies – and I think at some point we were even invited to lunch. It was real interesting experience – some homes had dirt floors, others concrete – and the ‘newer’ homes had pergo floors, flat screen tv’s – but no running water or indoor toilets. Priorities were really out of whack. You could watch Sports Center or CNN, but had to trudge up the hill to relief oneself.
Chickens and dogs ran free through the village. And their main crop for sale was bamboo. We learned that they earned on average about $2000 (US) per year. We got the impression that they were as interested in us as we were in them.
We ventured back into Nanchang and stopped at another family style restaurant for lunch. The food was very similar to the previous outings. After lunch we headed back to the hotel. I think everyone was ‘done’ with Nanchang. The noise, the constant gray, the cold, and repetitive meals. That afternoon we took walk down one of the main streets that was rumored to have great kids clothes.
This street was noisy, crowded and really narrow. Olivia- you were in your sun stroller and we were trying to navigate around cars, planters, people, uneven sidewalks and – no ramps – so it was challenging. ADA laws are non-existent in China by the way. We stopped at an ice cream shop to order coffee – advertised as ‘fresh brewed’ which meant the young girl took beans and hand ground them – then steamed the coffee – and 20 minutes later – or so it seemed – we had two slightly 3/4 full cups of the world’s worst coffee. It was a far cry from Tim Horton’s or Starbucks.
Olivia – it’s very evident you don’t like to be bundled up and you constantly pull your hands out of your snow suit and take off your hat – which, bcd home would be fine considering it was in the high 40’s and quite comfortable. But in China – the old ladies – like to see the babies wrapped like sausages. Every chinese bab we saw looked like a little rolly polly. More than once we were stopped by women who made us cover you up – with looks of scorn. This from a society that condones smoking in public buildings, restaurants, and openly spits and pees everywhere. And in your province they on’t heat any public or private buildings. To be a Chinese baby means to be warm – only to die of lung cancer from second hand smoke. I don’t understand that logic.
We also noticed from our walk that afternoon as well as the bus rides that traffic signals and road markings are merely suggestions – not always taken. Rules of the road are quite chaotic – the louder and more obnoxious car horn winning most of the road battles. We also watched people routinely play chicken with city buses – they would dodge across streets and somehow the uses would narrowly miss them.
This was our last full day in Nanchang, considered to be lesser city in China with a population of only 7 or 8 million. (FYI- the five boroughs of NYC are also about 7 or 8 million.)
Dec 2011
23 Fri
9:43 PM
It’s finally Friday. Last day in Nanchang. As per instructed the evening before – we were to be ready to roll at 4:15 pm to go to the Nanchang Airport – and at 12:30 pm to meet and review paper work. Your mom was so organized with her binders and documents… always showing up the other moms with papers, meds, etc. (Don’t let me get started on the basement situation… which should be cleared up by your graduation day…). As I recall – I’m a day late – it was an uneventful date – no trips from the hotel – an everyone either hung around the common room on our 11th floor – or in their rooms. The sun did finally shine – although the haze was ever present and you could barely see the other shore of the river.
We left the hotel on schedule in the oddest rush hour traffic imaginable and headed to McDonald’s for dinner. Yes, McDonald’s in Nanchang, China. And, just for the record, one cheeseburger, fries, and a coffee. We arrived after brutal traffic, at the Nanchang Airport around 6:30 and checked our overweight baggage to Guangzhou, along with our group. This would be your first airline flight… a short hour ride from Nanchang to Guangzhou aboard China Eastern Airlines… an A320 - jammed tighter than …..
(I’m tall with long legs, FYI.) You were amazing – in great spirits – and really interested in the flight attendants, the instruction cards, the big girls behind you, the woman to the right… you’re just a little party girl… laughing, loving the ride. You’re mom and I are only hoping you are as pleasant on the 14+hour ride to Chicago from Hong Kong.
So we landed, collected our bags, and headed to our bus. You were the life of the party – talking to the big kids, laughing, not missing a minute. You were carrying on this conversation – but we had no idea what you were saying… and finally enroute to the hotel you fell asleep. We arrived at the China Marriott around 10pm… an oasis in Guangzhou… a Starbucks, a 7-11, steak restaurant…. we checked in headed to our room – and you and your mom crashed.
So this process started officially on July 14, 2006. The log-in date in China. Flash forward five years, five months and today is December 15th, 2011. The trip has begun.
I could fill another journal with the preparation tasks for this trip – so let’s just start with today. A very wet, rainy and windy morning in Buffalo – but very mild – low 50s – when we left for the airport. Sue, bright eyed and awake, had just returned from Ethiopia the night before and she volunteered to pick us up at 4:30am – because her time clock said it was lunch time. Our first flight was to depart at 6am – we boarded, headed down the tarmac, turned onto the runway – and as we flew down the runway the pilot abruptly shut down and aborted the take-off. Back to the terminal – where enroute the pilot said they had “a cantankerous little box with a faulty light” that needed to be addressed. (Olivia – your mom has been driving around Buffalo with a ‘cantankerous’ brake light that has been on for three months… luckily she hasn’t had to abort any take-offs down Starin Avenue.
We’re now in Dulles (Washington, DC) and killing about three hours till we board. Your mom was sleeping – but now on the cell with Aunt Eileen. Just overcast here – 50s… although Bejing is supposed to be chilly – 30s dropping to teens. More adventures to come.
We really lucked out in Dulles. During the standard visa check – the United agent rebooked us in Business First (hot towels, menus, nice merlots..) and this was due to an aircraft change. It’s only a short thirteen hour flight from Dulles to Bejing. (FYI – your mom ordered the salmon…) It would have been salmon flavored peanuts in Economy. The seats recline, unlimited movies – and it’s as comfortable as the couch.. so with the exception of two goldendoodles at her feet, your mom is very happy.
We’re somewhere over the North Pole. It’s about 7:37 am your time and you’re probably sleeping. The airplane cabin is dark and most people are sleeping. I can’t sleep so I thought I would write… Here’s some of what we know about you and your story… you were born on November 16, 2010. You weighed about 6 pounds _ ounces and you measured 19 inches. You were given the name Qiu (which means hibiscus or pretty girl), Rong (which means Autumn) and Feng (which is the city in which you were born). Right now, you’re at the Fengcheng Social Welfare Institute where you’ve been for last 4 to 6 weeks. You spent your first year with a foster family in or near the city of Fengcheng. We got your picture via email on August 30, 2011 – the best email that I have ever received and the best day of my life. Since then, we’ve been waiting for approvals from both the US and Chinese governments to pick you up and bring you home. This approval finally came in November and it has been a whirlwind of activity getting everything ready. So, in just two short days—December 18th at 3:30 pm—we will meet you for the first time!! Your dad feels exclamation points are overused but it seems perfectly fitting for the way I feel right now.
We arrived right on schedule – and spent about an hour waiting in customs. At the airport, we met Grace, our host from Great Wall, and two other parents, John and Jennifer from Dallas, Texas. After getting our bags we loaded up and headed to the hotel, the Poly Theatre Hotel in Beijing. After a long flight we were exhausted and because of the time difference found ourselves waking up all night…at 4:30am I ventured out into the darkened streets of Beijing in search of our morning coffee – and got my first lesson on Chinese culture at McDonalds. There is no such thing a personal space. Some young kid barged right in from of me in line while I was waiting with the customary, western tradition of one ‘people’ space between ‘humans’....Deciding he was wrong, and a young kid – I didn’t worry about creating an international incident as I stepped in front of him and halved the personal space to zero. Don’t get in front of me – or my first cup of coffee… back to the hotel with our coffee (16 yuan for two – so less than $3) and finally at 5am, decided to get the day started.
Dec 2011- 17 Sat
So at 8:30am this morning, we met the other families in the lobby of the hotel and headed out for a day of sightseeing. Rising at 5am, we saw the sun slowly rise over Beijing – or least creep in between the high rise buildings. I made a 5am run to McDonalds for the first coffee of the day.
Our group for the tour consisted on three families from Texas – Dallas, San Antonio, and Corpus Christie, one family from Tennessee, another from Flint, Michigan and your mom and I. (Tomorrow everyone heads to their provinces for ‘gotcha day’) and then we all meet again in Guangzhou in a week.
The sun was brilliant – but the temps cold – a balmy 30° when we got to Tian An Men Square… it was huge. Grace said that during national events, millions of people crowd the square – Beijing has population of over 20million citizens. Across from the Square, we entered the Forbidden City – a national landmark that dates back to the Ming Dynasty over 6 centuries ago… it was a walled city originally built for the emperor, empress and the emperors concubines… who numbered in the thousands, as Grace described it. Of course, during the day we got to know Grace – and she likes to talk.. for example, she’s 28 years old, her mother wants her to get a boyfriend, and her younger brother just got married and blah, blah, blah… did I mention it was really cold outside? We walked the Forbidden City from one end to the other and met our driver after a two hour tour. Your mom paid particular interest to the stories of the ‘Dragon Lady’ who for many years ruled China from behind the yellow screen as she directed first her son and then nephew with decisions that affected the empire… I think your mom wishes she had a yellow screen too. (But, then she already rules our empire…)
After the Forbidden City we headed out of town to a jade factory where, first we had lunch with all of our group – then toured the factory and their extensive – and really expensive jade gift shop. (FYI – you, your mom and Natalie are all Year of the Tiger). Chloe is the Year of the Rabbit – I’m an Ox.
The day concluded with visit to the Great Wall. It was about 3pm by the time we finally got there. Many of our group decided to hang out at the base and a few decided to make the trek to the top. Your mom made it to two towers – a considerable feat – one dad and two young kids got all the way to the top – I got about half way to the first tower and stopped to call the gym and renew my membership.. I was huffing and puffing and really out of shape. The wall is a huge climb and many of the steps are worn and not consistently placed, so you really have to pay attention when you’re climbing.. The view from half way up was beautiful – so the summit must have been unbelievable. The group finally got reassembled by 4:45 and it was time to head back to the hotel. Everyone was really exhausted from the day and ready to crash early because tomorrow was ’ gotcha day – and we needed to be ready to leave for the airport at 5am.
Dec 2011 – 18 Sun
The group assembled this morning at 5:30am for the ride to Beijing International Airport… another chilly, but sunny day in Beijing.. we boarded our bus – with breakfast in hand (some type of sandwich, salad, a banana, and egg)..
Everyone was excited and you could sense a little anxiousness in all the families. At the airport, we split up – some families heading north, some south, and Grace was there to orchestrate and communicate with the Flight Check-In people at China Eastern.
We’re now aboard our flight to Nanchang… about 2 hours of flight time – I really lucked out this time (note: I like to introduce sarcasm on occasion…) my luck was seat 45B – middle… ugh. I hate middle seats.
1:26 PM
We landed at Nanchang and were greeted by our next guide from Great Wall, Veronica. After a 40 minute ride, we arrived at the Jin Feng Hotel. We met a few other families who chose to fly directly here – and not through Beijing. We meet you for the first time in a large conference room on the second floor. Veronica said you would be scared and nervous and you might not eat – it’s a big day for you.. she said you went directly from your foster home to the orphanage and then to our hotel.
4:25 PM
Olivia was late for her own party today. We arrived in a second floor conference room with 3 other families at 3:30 pm. Two of the four children arrived early but the program could not begin until Stella and Olivia arrive from Fengcheng City. The two girls arrived around 4:30 pm and were fashionably decked out in matching Christmas-red snow coats, pants, and white-trimmed hats. I showed my passport to the Orphan Director and he handed you to me. Unbelievable. You seemed a little shocked, scared and confused. You didn’t cry but I did. I was so happy so it wasn’t sad tear but joyful tears. During the meeting, you shed one lone and silent tear that rolled down you rosy red cheeks. The orphanage director said that Fengcheng is a very windy city.
We were allowed to return to the hotel room but I had to return alone to sign documents at 5 pm. You stayed up in the room with your Dad … and that is the moment you became a Daddy’s girl and as of this writing I have only been able to hold you maybe 10 times. You have bonded with your dad.
Dec 2011-19 Mon
Today I officially or legally adopted you. I was interviewed by the Chinese Center for Child Welfare, had to get some documents notarized and at the Nangchang Police Station. It was a full day of paperwork. It started at 9 am which isn’t really early but you didn’t sleep that much the night before. At around 2 am you woke and decided it was time to play for two hours. You laughed and went back and forth between us. It was a lot fun. You slept with us in our bed. We hardly slept but we actually had a few moments which gave me hope that today would be better than yesterday. At least for now you prefer your Dad…and it’s ok. I am a little hurt but I think “we” will happen.
In the evening we all assembled in the lobby and went for a traditional Chinese dinner at a restaurant close by. The food was served family style and placed on a big spinning lazy susan.. Everything was very good – but we were exhausted and anxious to get back and relax for the evening.. You ate a lot – but tearing up the napkins and playing with the chop sticks was really amusing you.
Dec 2011 – 20 Tue
Olivia , you are Han. Most (or 90 percent per Veronica our guide) 1.3 billion people in China are Han as well. Your ancestors were from the Han Dynasty. The other 10 percent are from 55 different minority groups. Most of these minority groups live in southwest China in the mountains. Your first country, China, is home to 1/5 of the world’s population. Eighty five percent of the land in China is mountainous or arid desert. Tibet and Mongolia make up 45 percent of the Chinese map but only have 1 percent of the population.
Before 1970, there was no birth control policy. In fact, Chairman Mao encourage families to have children. During this time the average family was between 5 and 6 kids. Then there was 3 year long disaster when the winters were cold and the summers were hot and dry. In 1970, a three pronged family control policy was established. The first part of this family control policy included late marriages. The legal age for men was 23 for men and 21 for females. Prior to this most people married at 15 or 16 years and these marriage would be arranged.
I think your mom will add more ‘facts’ at some point – but she was taking diligent notes from our tour guide as we headed to this little village about 40 minutes from Nanchang. Today we got real taste of how the other half – and probably more like the other two thirds lived. We ventured to this village – and by US standards you would think this town was dirt poor. Our guide, Veronica, said this village was actually in good shape. There were multiple floor dwellings, some had running water, and a recycling program, but to look around – no landscaping, dirt in the streets, loose chickens, dogs and oxen…. not exactly Transit Road in East Amherst… but, despite what we saw, the villagers seemed genuinely happy – content with their meager possessions, and very interested in a small group of westerners with light complexion, ‘fancy’ clothes – holding their little chinese girls. Your mom was the official photographer of the day and got some great shots of the village – of you – and the locals. You were eyeing all the little boys in town – and not surprisingly – they were checking you out, too.
After the village, the next stop was shopping for the babies – and where else, but Walmart. But this was Walmart, China style… the greeters for example were in their early 20’s… in the states that gig is reserved for the revered senior citizens. We bought a new red sun stroller, a silk(ish) outfit, a few groceries, and other essentials. 636 yuan later (about $100) we met the group outside Walmart at, ready for this, KFC. I think the Chinese really love our consumeristic society. KFC’s, McDonalds, if only Tim Horton’s could join the game!! So I digress. In this KFC, you tried your very first french fry… and yes, loved it. Who doesn’t?
Back on the bus and back to the hotel. Now all day, I was starting to feel really tired, achy and by the time we got back – full blown head cold. Runny nose, scratchy throat, achy… I think you gave me your cold. So your mom went with our guide and got me some cold medicine. They came back with some herbal tea that tasted like warmed cow dung. (When you’re older I will give you a better and more colorful description.) I think it helped, although it was tough to consume. You slept better last night – the 2am play session was much shorter…
Dec 2011 – 21 Wed
It’s Wednesday. Another gray and cool day in Nanchang. All the paperwork and adoption stuff is nearly done – so today is another day of sightseeing.
Today’s adventure is to an old temple located on the banks of the—————River. According to Veronica, our guide, this historic landmark was once a fort and served as a lookout to see approaching enemies coming up or down the river. Over time it had burned and was rebuilt 29 times. On each floor we saw large murals or reliefs that told stories of ancient Chinese heroes. On one of the upper floors we watched a short musical show of Chinese folk songs – and from the upper floors you could walk out onto a deck that wrapped the building – providing beautiful views of the river and city… But unfortunately the fog and smog prevented views beyond a few hundred yards. It was really cold and windy on the deck.
Following a tour of this temple, we had lunch in another traditional Chinese family setting. You really liked the scrambled egg soup.. And the chicken, and the rice, and… You’re a really good eater.
Back on the bus and back to the hotel. We had sent laundry out the night before and the it was returned that evening at five. Most of the families hung out together in the common space on our floor later that evening – but after a long day we were ready to just hang in our own room – with a pizza that Veronica ordered.
Dec 2011
22 Thu
5:00 PM
We are here in Nanchang with three other families. And one of the families, the Burkhardt’s had previously adopted two girls from China. So today we ventured again into the countryside in search of Abby’s hometown. We left Nanchang in our bus – babies, strollers, winter coats, and bottles and headed west. Or at least I think it was west – I’ve lost all sense of direction. The city quickly turned to rolling hills and the diesel, manual transmission bus chugged up and down a few hills. After a while, the driver and Veronica seemed bit lost – and Jeff, the dad, wasn’t quite sure exactly ‘where’ this little village was. At some point, we pulled off a two lane road into a little mountain side village of wood and concrete structures… Veronica claimed “we are here” – and Jeff, not really sure said “close enough.” I doubt Abby even remembered.
Veronica, our guide, met a local woman and told her that we westerners wanted to experience what life in a little village was like in comparison to the big city (Nanchang). Much like the previous village, this was remote, had multiple floor dwellings and outhouses – but this village was carved from the side of a hill – each house moving up the hill had progressively better views of the valley. The villagers welcomed us into their homes – and showed us their living quarters, kitchens, water supplies – and I think at some point we were even invited to lunch. It was real interesting experience – some homes had dirt floors, others concrete – and the ‘newer’ homes had pergo floors, flat screen tv’s – but no running water or indoor toilets. Priorities were really out of whack. You could watch Sports Center or CNN, but had to trudge up the hill to relief oneself.
Chickens and dogs ran free through the village. And their main crop for sale was bamboo. We learned that they earned on average about $2000 (US) per year. We got the impression that they were as interested in us as we were in them.
We ventured back into Nanchang and stopped at another family style restaurant for lunch. The food was very similar to the previous outings. After lunch we headed back to the hotel. I think everyone was ‘done’ with Nanchang. The noise, the constant gray, the cold, and repetitive meals. That afternoon we took walk down one of the main streets that was rumored to have great kids clothes.
This street was noisy, crowded and really narrow. Olivia- you were in your sun stroller and we were trying to navigate around cars, planters, people, uneven sidewalks and – no ramps – so it was challenging. ADA laws are non-existent in China by the way. We stopped at an ice cream shop to order coffee – advertised as ‘fresh brewed’ which meant the young girl took beans and hand ground them – then steamed the coffee – and 20 minutes later – or so it seemed – we had two slightly 3/4 full cups of the world’s worst coffee. It was a far cry from Tim Horton’s or Starbucks.
Olivia – it’s very evident you don’t like to be bundled up and you constantly pull your hands out of your snow suit and take off your hat – which, bcd home would be fine considering it was in the high 40’s and quite comfortable. But in China – the old ladies – like to see the babies wrapped like sausages. Every chinese bab we saw looked like a little rolly polly. More than once we were stopped by women who made us cover you up – with looks of scorn. This from a society that condones smoking in public buildings, restaurants, and openly spits and pees everywhere. And in your province they on’t heat any public or private buildings. To be a Chinese baby means to be warm – only to die of lung cancer from second hand smoke. I don’t understand that logic.
We also noticed from our walk that afternoon as well as the bus rides that traffic signals and road markings are merely suggestions – not always taken. Rules of the road are quite chaotic – the louder and more obnoxious car horn winning most of the road battles. We also watched people routinely play chicken with city buses – they would dodge across streets and somehow the uses would narrowly miss them.
This was our last full day in Nanchang, considered to be lesser city in China with a population of only 7 or 8 million. (FYI- the five boroughs of NYC are also about 7 or 8 million.)
Dec 2011
23 Fri
9:43 PM
It’s finally Friday. Last day in Nanchang. As per instructed the evening before – we were to be ready to roll at 4:15 pm to go to the Nanchang Airport – and at 12:30 pm to meet and review paper work. Your mom was so organized with her binders and documents… always showing up the other moms with papers, meds, etc. (Don’t let me get started on the basement situation… which should be cleared up by your graduation day…). As I recall – I’m a day late – it was an uneventful date – no trips from the hotel – an everyone either hung around the common room on our 11th floor – or in their rooms. The sun did finally shine – although the haze was ever present and you could barely see the other shore of the river.
We left the hotel on schedule in the oddest rush hour traffic imaginable and headed to McDonald’s for dinner. Yes, McDonald’s in Nanchang, China. And, just for the record, one cheeseburger, fries, and a coffee. We arrived after brutal traffic, at the Nanchang Airport around 6:30 and checked our overweight baggage to Guangzhou, along with our group. This would be your first airline flight… a short hour ride from Nanchang to Guangzhou aboard China Eastern Airlines… an A320 - jammed tighter than …..
(I’m tall with long legs, FYI.) You were amazing – in great spirits – and really interested in the flight attendants, the instruction cards, the big girls behind you, the woman to the right… you’re just a little party girl… laughing, loving the ride. You’re mom and I are only hoping you are as pleasant on the 14+hour ride to Chicago from Hong Kong.
So we landed, collected our bags, and headed to our bus. You were the life of the party – talking to the big kids, laughing, not missing a minute. You were carrying on this conversation – but we had no idea what you were saying… and finally enroute to the hotel you fell asleep. We arrived at the China Marriott around 10pm… an oasis in Guangzhou… a Starbucks, a 7-11, steak restaurant…. we checked in headed to our room – and you and your mom crashed.